I was thinking just the other day how my perspective is narrow and that I’m missing out on much of the world around me. I tend to look at what is right in front of me, this causes problems for me and stresses me out. I feel like I’m trapped at the Academy or that there is nothing else going on. I see it as the cures of the Academy mainly cause when I leave and am out in the Springs I don’t feel that way. I feel like I can take on the world. Many of my worries don’t bother me quite as much when I m out. I guess you could say I feel just a little bit more free. I will admit there are many things that I worry about and dwell on, that may be in part to how much I care about those things. There are some things in my life that I care/dwell on to much, they don’t include the Academy, my car, my classes, or even what I will do for the rest of my life. They include the close things of my hart, my relationships, my freedom, and just plane and simple the one thing God has control of…sorry u don’t get to know what that is! Those things consume my thoughts, there are times when I will dwell on them for hours at a time. I know that is not good but I do. When I leave the academy they don’t bother me quite as much, I guess that is cause I see the rest of the world and all the great things of life. I’m trying to get better at it and am learning not to dwell on them as much. To trust God takes more than just saying the words, you can go through scripture and read all about how we can trust in him and that he is in control.
Psalm 31:15
Colossians 1:17
2 Corinthians 9:10
You can read about how we are told to trust in the Lord, that he will give us all the desires of our heart if we trust in him (psalm 37:4). These are all truth’s from the word of God, we can take comfort and bank in them. They will never lead us astray but one thing is for sure, the distance from the head to the heart is a long way! To actually know that he will care for us is much harder to understand and believe. It has taken me well over a year to even understand this. I have not done it alone and have had many walking me though this process that I call life. Now to believe is another story, I guess I would be the last month or so that I have begun to believe, which is more of me asking God to change my heart. I have asked him to give me his eyes and just see his reality and to have a little bit of his perspective on life. Many pastors would call it a Kingdom perspective but I like to think of it as his eyes in my body! This has helped a lot but by no means could I say that I have things under control. Life is a challenge and I am trying to enjoy life just the way it is. My hope and prayer is to have a better perspective on life, and to not allow that cures I talked about earlier control my life. Freedom comes from letting go of the things I want the most and to be content with what God has given me. Well at least to me and at this point in my life.
